So tonight I was sitting in a minor league baseball park watching a bunch of young 20-somethings (and a few teenagers) chase their major league dream.  It was a AA (double-A) game, which theoretically is two steps away from the big leagues.  But it is common knowledge that the best baseball prospects play in AA because AAA is filled with fringe guys who are (mainly) nothing more than guys who have failed in “the show” or the dreaded 4-A player (too good for AAA baseball, but not good enough for Major League baseball).

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, crazy shit was happening in Dallas, a mere 30 miles or so from where I sat.

Well, I lost my innocence today
I could feel her in my bones
My bones, my bones, my bones
My blood, my blood, my blood, my blood

And I just… I don’t know.  I don’t get it.

I mean, I understand where the angst and anger comes from.  But I don’t understand how more violence solves anything.

And that depresses the shit out of me.

And I woke up, tired, scared, and sad
So drained, I felt so bad
Today, today, today

I live in the DFW area so it was inevitable that I would know someone who knew someone affected by tonight’s senseless shootings.  But even if that weren’t the case, would that make it any less tragic?  Any less asinine?


What’d you steal, you steal, you steal, you steal
Won’t you say, you say, you say, you say
What you feel, you feel, you feel, you feel

I really don’t have anything in regards to a solution to this mess our country finds itself in.  And I don’t think (actually, I know) that any of our “leaders” do, either.

But should that matter?  Hell no.

We are all responsible for our own actions.  And the hate/fear runs so deep now that I’m unsure things will ever improve.

Which is nothing but hollow, thin as air
I could die, I just don’t care

But I watched a baseball (America’s pastime) game tonight with good friends.  Players from all over the globe were in the game, oblivious (like me) to what was happening in downtown Dallas.

They tossed the ball around, finding a commonality among themselves without ever considering skin color or nationality.  All they cared about was the American Dream.

Remember that?

Such a beautiful child, such an awful waste
And there’s no innocence like hers
Just emptiness and nerves

I remember that. And I won’t let anyone – white or black – take that away from me.  Because I’ll choose love.

Lord, I lost my nerve, oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my

– “Innocence” by the Airborne Toxic Event




One thought on “Innocence

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