I am not threatened by homosexuals.
There. I’ve said it.
I also do not overtly seek out the gays and befriend them, but there are times in my life that make such occasions hard to avoid, especially since I am married to a woman who finds “them” particularly entertaining. This past week presented a prime example.
As we were speaking with her new “BFF” KC (she later accidentally referred to him as her “BFFF” which garnered a very tasteless butt fuck joke from me), he was regaling us with stories of the places he had worked in the past. A large portion of this job history focused on his time at the Ralph Lauren store in the Domain in Austin.
He said that he spent $800 on clothes for this job because employees were encouraged (i.e. required) to wear the Ralph Lauren brand while at work. However, he also said that he could never really pull of the look. “It isn’t made for people like me,” he said. “I got fired because they said I wasn’t Ralph Lauren material.”
I could bite my tongue no longer… I had to jump in before the joke suffered a painful, left-in-the-throat demise.
“So you were a little too Lauren, not enough Ralph?”
(Insert rim shot here.)
For the record, KC’s boyfriend laughed his ass off at my joke.
Then KC picked it up and fucked it.