Tales From My Video Store (Revisited)

(Today I imported one of my classics, Tales From My Video Rental Store, because you might want to refresh your memory before reading this entry. Just sayin’.)


My video rental store still sells samuri swords.

I know this because Dawn and I finally ventured back in there earlier this week while bored out of our collective gourds. Much of the product selection remained the same, but there were also several notable differences. For example:

The old TV sets have been replaced with mostly flat screens, the futons have all apparently been sold, and the dog evidently had a puppy. Also, there was a brand new fragrance case behind one counter filled with nostalgia galore (Shalimar, Aramis, etc.) as well as goofy, off-brand electronics in another case. Knives were still a big player, but we also noted new shadowbox display units filled with all manner of knick-knacks.

While I went to browse the movies way in the back of the store, Dawn passed time checking out the new product line. I met back up with her after picking up ‘Deja Vu’ and ‘Steel Magnolias’ (the latter was not my idea) and saw her holding a small wooden cat, a finger-mounted potato peeler, and a Yankee Candle air freshener can. “Must-haves”, I think she called them, after accusing me of flirting with Dogpatch while looking for the aforementioned chick-flick.

Now, I’m going to jump ahead to yesterday…

We were sitting around the house, wondering what furniture we were going to rearrange next, when my sis called. She asked us to bring back the dog cage she recently gave us because my niece just got a new puppy, and then to soften the Indian-giver blow, invited us to swim, as well. Excited to get out of the house, and to hang around two of our favorite people, we leapt at the opportunity and changed into our bathing suits posthaste.

After lounging poolside for a while, while Dawn sipped on Mudslides and Lois dove into Coors Light, the subject of our favorite video store came up. It did not require too much cajoling to talk Jerry and Lois into making the trip with us. After all, I particularily wanted them to see two of my favorite new items.

Once inside the store, I pointed out the objects of my affection: a giant skull endtable, replete with a huge scorpion on the top of its head, and the gargoyle wine bottle and glass holder. After seeing them, J and Lo (J-Lo?) admitted that they thought I was making the items up. Even in my most creative state, I doubt I could construct such artful wonders.

Things got a little out of hand at one point because Jerry and I looked up to see Dawn and Lois coming towards us pushing a shopping buggy on steroids.  I mean this thing was wide enough to require two parking spaces.  It made the two of them look like Santa’s elves at Toys-R-Us, ready to load up an elephant and California redwood.

Jerry and I eventually migrated toward the front of the store, ready to make our exit, when Dawn asked the guy behind the counter if she and Lois could go in the naughty room without having to actually purchase something from within. He told them to go ahead, and he would be on the lookout for Tex to pull up outside which would hasten their retreat while empty handed. In they went.

When they came out, they were changed somehow. I think I remember one of them muttering “I will never look at a donkey the same way again.”

It was back to the backyard pool after that. We all needed a good cleansing.


One thought on “Tales From My Video Store (Revisited)

  1. I still laugh when I think about Jerry admiring the Dream Catchers as Lois said “No Jerry….No.” Then he moved on to the belt section and noticed that they were used. I want everyone who travels through Burleson to stop by, and think of us and our beloved town as they sift through the bins of underwear and half burned candles.

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