The Toilet Conundrum

If it weren’t for the meatloaf, I would have been asleep hours ago…

Ok – that is a little simplistic, but also pretty accurate. So let me get right to the point.

I broke our toilet tonight.

It all started when I clogged it up (with toilet paper, apparantly) and there was no plunger around. And, no offense, mom, but who keeps the plunger in the backyard storage building? I mean, besides you?

So the water did its best Forrest Gump imitation (running and running) and I hammocked. I took the lid off and, just as water started pouring over the bowl, I tried to prop the arm of the float-ball up using the lid. That just made the arm go “snap”. Then I was really screwed. No way to stop it now.

That is, until mom reminded me that I could just turn off the water using the knob behind the commode. Duh.

Not long after that, I was on a late-night trip to Wal-Mart. I figured it was safe to go in there at that time of night and get out with minimal chit-chat. Pfft. I should have known better. Several conversations and hugs later, I was finally back home to fix the potty.

Unfortunately, this toilet was built in (I think) 1956. Normally, that would not be a bad thing because I really like this toilet. Really hard. It isn’t one of those new government sanctioned “low-flow” toilets that give you an eye-drop of water for your “business”. Nope – this one will give you a deluge. If you don’t believe me, just ask my shoes.

(That almost rhymed.)

So the repair kit I got wouldn’t fit. We are now forced to turn on the water to flush and turn it off when the bowl is full. I could just go in the backyard, but mom has already marked all of that territory so I am out of luck.

Please send empty mayonaise jars and coffee cans my way.

Let’s potty like it’s 1999,


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