Depressing. That’s What It Is.

I remember the first blog I ever wrote for this here interweb thing.  Inspired by a segment on The Ticket, I wrote about the 10 things I can do better than the majority of the population.  I never really thought anyone would read it, much less find it interesting.  It was just an outlet, you know?

Back then, people – at least those that “matter” -  didn’t really have blogs.  But now they are everywhere.  Controlled by publicists, devoid of true meaning and feeling, sanitized lest that someone get offended.

Shit.

Some of my favorite reads seem to be gone for good.  And, not to call anyone out on the carpet or anything, but I will name some names.

Screw it.  I’ll name just one.

Me.

The economy is bad enough that people are afraid to voice opinions, be humorous, or otherwise rock the boat.  I used to have no qualms talking about work on here as long as I didn’t mention the company I worked for.  However, I was always trusting that those commenting (probably the most important variable of blogging) would feel the same restraint.  I am leery now, though, because the risk is far greater than the reward.

Shit.

And now I have this great story to tell about being arrested for something ridiculous, but I am not sure if I have the sack to lay it all on the line.

And I don’t want to confine myself to an anonymous blog because feedback from friends is 99% of the reason I still post entries.  Who cares what Fernando from Akron thinks about my music entries?  (No offense, Fernando.  You do look marvelous.)  But, sadly, that is how things are today.

When you have a last name like I do, it is not too difficult to find me online.  I used to get mega-hits on the old Upsaid blog (when my writing was edgy, funny, and topical), but now I am afraid to post anything that may come back to haunt me.

My friend Devin (link omitted, just in case he is as scared as I am) once mentioned to me that he was behind on reading my stuff.  His explanation was that (paraphrasing) once something is online, it is there forever.

To wit, I would probably never post anything like this again (my famous non-Christmas party), or this (too volatile for the religious), or even this (too many nipple references).

But I still have a lot to say.

I guess it is time to start the book.  Fiction, of course.  Who would believe it, otherwise?  Lots of great ideas there…

2008 – The Year That Barack-ed!

Yes, it is several weeks late.  And yes, I did not post my annual letter to Santa.  But just stow any negative thoughts and revel in the 2008 recap…  or just sit there dreamily thinking about the Jonas Brothers.

Moments to remember: Getting my current job in May, Fredericksburg with the wife and boy on July 4th, the final move to the kick-ass house, getting Bodie (the best dog EVER) from the shelter, hanging out with JP (especially backstage at the Bodeans show at SXSW), the most unbelievable scallops ever at McCormick and Schmick’s (not to mention the crab tater tots!), buying “Champ” (our Jeep), garage sale Saturday mornings with the wife, seeing the bats at sunset for the first time, the “man room” in the garage that is like the Phonebooth II, a weekend here in Round Rock with cousin Hollie, some dude named Obama, and getting back in the habit of reading about 3-4 books a week.  Visits from old friends Ray and Mark around the holidays, though sadly not at the same time.

Moments to forget: The binge.  The slow, painful death of my laptop and all of its music, just waiting to be salvaged.  Hurricane Ike and the craziness at work that ensued.  Rats – giant maneating effers – at the previous address.  The brush with circus clowns that Coleton and I had in Wimberley onJuly 4.  (I’m surprised we made it out alive and unscarred.)  Palin-mania.  Ugh.

Music and sporting events: Our first Round Rock Express game, as Tommy Hunter put on a show.  The aforementioned BoDeans concert at SXSW.  Getting into the Airborne Toxic Event.

Things to look forward to in ‘09: Lots more music, like the Morrissey show I mention in the last entry and another show I will mention in the next.  Kayaking again, and maybe even buying our own canoe.  Hiking at Inks Lake.  A real vacation for a change.  Continued opportunities at work.  The Boy’s sister (The Girl?) moving here after graduation.  More visits from friends.  Finally finishing the front room so we can entertain at home.  A road trip to Houston to see the opening of Land of the Lost with family.

One word to sum up ‘08? Rationality.  (Ok, I used the dictionary game to choose a word because “Austintatious” seemed kind of cheesy.)

Fancy another?

Texas Justice: Ike Version

After a night of watching nothing but The Weather Channel, the wife and I retired to bed.  We were getting a nice breeze at our house just north of Austin, so we had all the windows open.  Our wooden blinds occasionally clattered against screens and panes, mimicking screams of pain, but we slept soundly, as we often do during times of “weather”.

That is, until the phone rang at 2am.

—–

The so-called castle doctrine was enacted as a state law in March of 2007.  Gone were the days of following this adage:  if you shoot someone breaking into your house, make sure he falls inside – not outside.  Also, the person protecting his own property no longer had to make an effort to flee before using deadly force.  This is why, in some circles, this bill is also known as the “make my day” law.

The law also provides “civil immunity for a person who lawfully uses deadly force” as long as that person meets all the criteria of the bill.  Basically, as long as the defender is not engaged in illegal activity at the time, and the “intruder” is not someone with a legal right to be there (i.e. law enforcement), then it is a justified killing.

—–

My wife heard the phone before I did.  She was already out the bedroom door before I started to get out of bed.  A phone call at 2am is never a good thing, especially when The Boy is out of town visiting his dad and other family members are hunkered down in Houston, playing the role of Tina Turner as Hurricane Ike delivered blow after blow.  I feared the worst.

“Just calm down” was repeated over and over into the phone.  Finally, hearing only her side of the conversation, I deduced what had happened and immediately Googled Texas law.  That is how I got indoctrinated to the doctrine.  Relief poured through me as I relayed the information I had found to her.  She then spoke the same over the phone.

The cops arrived at the Houston house at that time and the conversation ended.  All we knew was that the body was in the driveway and that our family member was being taken in for questioning.  I knew what I had read bode well for the family, but I would be lying if I said that I slept soundly after the call.

—–

The first time this law was really put to the test happened in Pasadena, an eastern suburb of Houston.  What made this case so extraordinary was that it was a neighbor, in his 70s, who shot burglars at the house next door – despite pleas from the 911 operator.

He was exonerated.

—–

It was close to 4am now.  I had slept fitfully, the rattling of the blinds no longer a memento of the cooling breeze but rather a Brinks security system placebo.  One particularly large gust startled me awake and left me wondering if our dog would even hear an intruder over all the noise that the wind was creating.

It was at that time that my wife woke up screaming.  She saw someone in the doorway to our room – but not really.  I calmed her, telling her everything was ok, knowing that she was just having the same dreams I was having.

And then the phone rang.

The family member was already home from his police station visit.  The man he shot in his living room was packing a gun, so it was a good thing that he followed him outside to finish the deal.  The deceased also had a “rap sheet” two pages long.  The officers said that the right thing was done, as looting was already going on in downtown Houston.

The thing that shocked me, however, was that they sent him home with his gun.  Their reasoning?

“You might need it again.”

Another “You Had To Be There” Joke

There was no Ranger game on Austin TV tonight so I took a break from following the action online to lay down with Dawn on the couch downstairs as she cleaned up our DVR. (I had no idea how many episodes of “Leave It To Beaver” that TVLand airs in a single day. After all, there never seems to be an episode on when I am in the mood for accidental sexual innuendos.)

Part of the hard drive clean-up included watching episodes of “Jon And Kate Plus 8″. I have mentioned this show before because I am of the belief that Kate is an unrelenting bitch that makes my blood pressure rise when I see the way she talks to her husband (who reminds me an awful lot of Ray, by the way).

So Dawn was really excited because they were showing the episode in which the family loads up all the kids – plus a Uhaul trailer for the luggage and snacks – to visit Disneyworld. Jon began driving the family down around 5:00 in the afternoon with the intent of making it from Pennsylvania to South Carolina before stopping at a hotel in the middle of the night.

And here is where the joke kicks in: Dawn remarked about the shoddy place to stay that they picked. “You’d think they would stop somewhere nice”, she said, “but that place just looks like a Motor Inn.”

So I replied, “What’s your price for flight?”

And I’m still not sure what is worse… that I issued the “joke” or that Dawn got it.

Sometimes, being a simpleton is nice.

Happy 75th!

It’s a good day… Today is the 75th anniversary of the end of prohibition in these United States of America. Celebrate accordingly.

(Could marijuana be far behind? There is talk of legalizing it in Austin. More reasons for the friends to visit.)

In other news:

• There are eight large trees in the backyard and Dawn and I took full advantage of the mid-80s temperatures and the shade afforded by said trees by grilling out on both days of the weekend. What a life.

• The baseball season is only a week old and I feel the writing bug hitting me. It might be time to start a “baseball only” blog since the paying gig is long since gone.
• Has anyone watched “Leave It To Beaver” lately? We like to watch the 4am showing on TVLand. That show’s humor stands the test of time, not to mention giving Dawn and I new catch phrases. (My fave? “Quit giving me the business!”) And I miss the days in which “sock” stood for more than something to cover a foot.
• In regards to the above, it is still funny (although a bit juvenile) to hear a line like “I gave the Beaver a bath last night”.

Enjoy the holiday.

A Good Friday Following A Great Friday

Where was I?

Last Thursday, I got a call from my old boss/buddy JP. He was in town for meetings and wanted to know if I had some spare time to hang out, especially since he brought his guitar. Sadly, I had to decline because Dawn and I were in the process of moving and the apartment was a wreck – not to mention the painting and cleaning we were doing at the new house.

He understood, and I chalked this up as another failed get-together. JP was on his way to Jeff Albert status: failed meetings, etc. Then that afternoon, as the wife and I were driving The Boy to Burleson so he could spend spring break with his friends and time with his dad, I got a text message from JP. To paraphrase, he asked if I was sure that I was busy because he just got VIP passes to SXSW for either Thursday or Friday night. Free food, free drinks, free show all from a VIP tent sponsored by Fuze, Miller Lite, and HEB.

(For the unitiated, SXSW is a yearly music/film showcase in Austin featuring 1600 or so bands including some that I would have really loved to have seen. REM at Stubb’s BBQ would have been great, as would The Lemonheads, Billy Bragg, and The Weakerthans just to name a few.)

I told Dawn that I didn’t feel like I should go because of everything else we had going on. However, she talked me into it. I let JP know, and he told me that he could get a third pass for her if she’d like. I told him to go ahead, even though she had been sick for days. Better safe than sorry, you know?

On Friday, I called JP and we realized that the passes were for an auditorium on the lake on the edge of downtown and the headliner for the night (at the very reasonable time of 8pm) was The BoDeans. I had actually seen them before, way back in 1989, when they opened for U2 in Fort Worth during the Joshua Tree tour. Back then, they only had one “hit” (It’s Only Love) but I became a fan. When they released ‘Home’, I was hooked. After that, they didn’t do a whole lot until, of all things, the TV show Party Of Five brought them back into the spotlight thanks to the theme song of the show (Closer To Free, not to be confused with the Indigo Girls’ Closer To Fine).

When we met up at the park (and, yes, Dawn decided to tough it out thanks in large part to the new BoDeans song that is getting a lot of airplay in Austin on the greatness of KGSR) there were not many people there. We milled about at the HEB booth for a few minutes, picking up some swag in the form of a pen, a bag, and a couple of HEB Rocks! bandanas, before heading to the VIP area. Once there, we realized that we had special seating at stage level just to the left of the stage. We were just a few feet from the band when they hit the stage. And by then, the lawn was packed. Talk about feeling special…

There isn’t a whole lot I can say about the show other than that they were even better than I remembered. They didn’t play a couple of my faves, but they did manage to squeeze in several that I really dig (including Naked and Good Things, which is one of “our” songs). The highlights for me were the new song (Everyday, which can be heard on their website that I link to above) and Fadeaway, which featured a lengthy jam session in the middle.

Finally, Dawn got a ton of great pics and video from the show. If you want to see the entire library of pics and video, then this is your link. Be prepared for a self-portrait from JP as well as lots of cools views. Two bad things, though. First, the video quality got lost in the upload. They look better when played straight from my hard drive. Second, the above-mentioned jam session from Fadeaway could not be included because it is over 100MB. After posting this, I am going to look for other options to get it online because it is pretty effin’ cool.

Thanks, JP, for the invite. Not only was it good to see you, but we had a much-needed blast.

Keep turning ’round, so very hard.

Ok, Ed…

As Bono once said: “I’m wide awake… I’m not sleeping.”

I’ve just been working like a dog – kind of. Back in retail (until I get the state license I’ve been working toward) and working 10 hour days, though at least my schedule is Monday through Friday. For all my old friends back in the Fort Worth area, imagine being in one of those big party supply chains and looking at all the merchandise. Now imagine having to reset every aisle in the store. By yourself. Making up for 18 months of constant store turnover, especially in the management ranks.

If that sounds bleak, then counteract that with this: I have always loved doing resets. I’m not only good at it, but I am damned good at it. Then, picture the owners coming in several times a week to compliment my work. Imagine them emailing me on a Saturday night with an “urgent” message to call them so that I can attend a Christmas party. And, while you’re at it, picture yourself in a boat on a river – with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.

Just keeping Austin weird.

In other news, Dawn’s job starts on Monday. Gone will be my short trips home for lunch, but I’m glad she’ll be out and about again. It was tough wanting to come home and “veg out” after a long day while she had been held prisoner by the apartment, begging for me to doing anything other than “veg”. Soon, we will get to “veg” together.

So, before I post my annual letter to Santa, I thought I would throw out a few quick hits about life in the capitol of Texas.

• I have already developed a few bits regarding businesses around our home. Whenever we pass Covert Ford, I always mention how we aren’t supposed to know it is there. Also, when driving by Lacks Furniture, I note how they always seem to forget something. (You may have to try that last one out loud to get the joke.)

• Speaking of bits, when I used to go on road trips with my buddies, everytime we would pass through Buda I would start chanting: “Buddha! Buddha! Buddha!” (Mark and Ray are probably the only readers of this blog who will remember that.) However, now that I live just north of that town, I have learned that the correct pronunciation is BYU-duh, not BOO-duh. Crap.
• And while on the subject of pronunciations, there are more funny ones around here. Two towns have normal spellings, yet distinctively southern pronunciations. “Burnet” is not BUR-net, it is bur-NIT. And Manor is not to be confused with Richie Rich’s house, but is pronounced as Maynard without the ‘d’ at the end. MAY-nor. Also, a major street on the south side of town is spelled Manchaca, which always reminded me of the creepy guy on ‘Land of the Lost’. Sadly, we learned that the street – no matter the spelling – is called MAN-chock. Lots of shit to learn, I guess.

I hope this entry finds everyone well, if anyone even checks this site any more.

Stay hard, people.

(Damn, I miss listening to The Ticket.)

Things To Do In Austin While Broke

Within a one mile radius of our apartment are all manner of conveniences… an HEB grocery store, Wal-Mart Supercenter, Home Depot, a full-fledged mall, SuperTarget, restaurants (fast food and sit down), and gas stations. And all of that is well and good, but the main reason we chose this area of Austin was for the following:

This morning, Dawn and I drove the meager 4.9 miles to nearby St. Edward’s Park to enjoy some hiking and beautiful scenery. The great thing about that park is that the trailhead offers parking for about 10 vehicles and, after about 50 feet, an abundance of trails to choose from. We could go there once a week for 6 months and take a different route each time.

Pics of our morning can be viewed here.

Then, after a brief lunch back at the apartment, we took a short 8.5 mile spin to Lake Travis to drive by the world famous Oasis (mentioned in many songs), aptly described as the sunset capitol of Texas, and even a brief jaunt to the just as famous Hippie Hollow.

We had hoped that the Hollow, located in McGregor Park, would offer some nature trails to hike along the lake. Sadly, though, we found that it cost $10 just to get in the park. Dawn asked the woman at the gate if we could just drive through the park, but we were told that there is no place to drive – just a parking area and everywhere else has to be traversed by foot. To clarify, she added, “Besides, there’s a lot of naked people down there.”

We acted shocked. Obviously, we knew that Hippie Hollow was a nudist paradise but we had no interest in that. As I have told Dawn many times, the only people who go there and “get nekkid” are the ones you most definitely do not want to see nude. We just wanted to kind of scout out the area for nature walks (not “au naturale” walks), but apparently we couldn’t even do that.

So we just drove around the lake instead. Pics of that drive can be seen here.

We’re just doing our part at keeping Austin weird, as the city implores.

Skydancing

Greetings from my new writing spot: the upstairs balcony of our as-yet-unnamed (i.e. nicknamed) apartment in Austin. I am listening to The Ticket online on the laptop while struggling to put into words just how great it is here.

Before I get into the interior, let me just say that there is a large Magnolia tree to my left that provides a ton of shade, but not so much that I cannot see the sun setting over the wooded hills to the west. Sure, there the requisite signs of development also in view – a Hooter’s, Alamo Draft House, and a hotel. However, none of that detracts from the natural beauty of this city.

There is a sliding glass door on the balcony that leads into The Boy’s room and a hinged door that leads to our room. Both rooms are the same size… huge. 15 by 23 or somesuch. Both rooms also have nice full baths. (I think Coleton’s might be just a little bit roomier than ours.) In between the rooms, at the top of the stairs, is a small wet-bar area complete with a sink, low cabinets, and a mini-fridge. This is where Dawn has promised me room to display all my knick knacks (bobbleheads, the ball from my first high school home run, etc.). Finally, I will have a “man area” that is not a garage. We may have to wait a bit before we buy the shelves and get my Rolling Stone covers framed, though. For now, all my treasures are arrayed on the countertop.

A jaunt down the stairs leads to the front door on the left and the living room on the right. Opposite the front door is a little “cut out” area behind the fireplace that we intend to use for a bookcase and a coatrack. At the end of the living room is a nice sized dining area at the end of the kitchen. At the other end of the kitchen is the laundry area – with a washer and dryer supplied by the apartment. (Mom, the washer is exactly like the one I gave Bob when I moved out of the phone booth.) There is a small hallway under the stairs that offers storage on the right and a half bath at the end.

It really does feel like home. A “real” home, even if it is an apartment.

Once we get it fully furnished, I’ll post some pics somewhere.

For those who have asked about work, it is going very well. (Again, remember my policy of being very vague talking about jobs on here.) I’ve got the whole place to myself – I am the only one in the office… kind of. My company rents space from another office, so I’ve got a built-in receptionist and a space to decorate and organize as I see fit. Pretty cool, and definitely something I am not used to.

One of the best things about the job? I left work in Round Rock today at 4:50pm, stopped by a mail drop to send in documents, and then went into a Wal-Mart to get Nyquil for Dawn. I was home at 5:20. Can’t beat that.

My favorite radio station here is 107.1 because they play all sorts of cool stuff that I’d never hear in Dallas/Ft. Worth. For example, I didn’t even know that Big Head Todd and the Monsters had a new CD out.

I’ll try to update one more time before a weekend spent with family in Oklahoma (now 2 1/2 hours further away), but we’ll see. I think we are going to pick up a new (used) bed tomorrow night.

Peace to all.

And stay weird.

And I Feel Pine

Ah, yes.  She has a way with words.

If I didn’t have to get up at 5am in the morning to take my mom to the airport, I would start writing about the camping trip that Dawn and I just took.  However, it looks like any sort of recap will have to wait a few hours.  In the meantime, though, enjoy this picture from the trip:

Filthy bastards…