Depressing. That’s What It Is.

I remember the first blog I ever wrote for this here interweb thing.  Inspired by a segment on The Ticket, I wrote about the 10 things I can do better than the majority of the population.  I never really thought anyone would read it, much less find it interesting.  It was just an outlet, you know?

Back then, people – at least those that “matter” -  didn’t really have blogs.  But now they are everywhere.  Controlled by publicists, devoid of true meaning and feeling, sanitized lest that someone get offended.

Shit.

Some of my favorite reads seem to be gone for good.  And, not to call anyone out on the carpet or anything, but I will name some names.

Screw it.  I’ll name just one.

Me.

The economy is bad enough that people are afraid to voice opinions, be humorous, or otherwise rock the boat.  I used to have no qualms talking about work on here as long as I didn’t mention the company I worked for.  However, I was always trusting that those commenting (probably the most important variable of blogging) would feel the same restraint.  I am leery now, though, because the risk is far greater than the reward.

Shit.

And now I have this great story to tell about being arrested for something ridiculous, but I am not sure if I have the sack to lay it all on the line.

And I don’t want to confine myself to an anonymous blog because feedback from friends is 99% of the reason I still post entries.  Who cares what Fernando from Akron thinks about my music entries?  (No offense, Fernando.  You do look marvelous.)  But, sadly, that is how things are today.

When you have a last name like I do, it is not too difficult to find me online.  I used to get mega-hits on the old Upsaid blog (when my writing was edgy, funny, and topical), but now I am afraid to post anything that may come back to haunt me.

My friend Devin (link omitted, just in case he is as scared as I am) once mentioned to me that he was behind on reading my stuff.  His explanation was that (paraphrasing) once something is online, it is there forever.

To wit, I would probably never post anything like this again (my famous non-Christmas party), or this (too volatile for the religious), or even this (too many nipple references).

But I still have a lot to say.

I guess it is time to start the book.  Fiction, of course.  Who would believe it, otherwise?  Lots of great ideas there…

THIS Did Not Make My “Things To Look Forward To In 2009″ List

Ladies and gentlemen, straight from the Home Office in Leming, Texas (yes, it exists, even if it is short one letter) is tonight’s Top 10 List.  The category?  The Top 10 Things To Do To Prepare For A Night In Jail…

10)  Wear socks, because concrete is very cold on bare feet.  (I was covered there, thankfully.)

9)  Have phone numbers memorized, like back in the good old days.  Your cell phone’s contact list will not be handy.

8)  Wear a hoodie.  Not only is it kept cold in there, but – hey – extra padding for lack of a pillow!  (I get half-points here.  I was wearing a sweater.)

7)  If your vehicle is not going to be impounded, put the cigs in your pocket so that they will be there when you get out.

6)  Gorge yourself ahead of time.  Never before had I seen something that truly qualifies as “mystery meat straight from a human organ”.

5)  Pick the county carefully.  This one is truly awful.

4)  Go ahead and get a DUI.  Hell, make it multiples!  Those people get out much quicker than first time offenders like me (with a charge of “unregistered animal” when our Lhasa/Shitzu mix got out of the backyard).

3)  There is never a number 3.

2)  Have a kick-ass boss who recently had a brother undergo the same silly treatment.  Scoreboard!

1)  Have effin’ cash, because they don’t take debit.

2008 – The Year That Barack-ed!

Yes, it is several weeks late.  And yes, I did not post my annual letter to Santa.  But just stow any negative thoughts and revel in the 2008 recap…  or just sit there dreamily thinking about the Jonas Brothers.

Moments to remember: Getting my current job in May, Fredericksburg with the wife and boy on July 4th, the final move to the kick-ass house, getting Bodie (the best dog EVER) from the shelter, hanging out with JP (especially backstage at the Bodeans show at SXSW), the most unbelievable scallops ever at McCormick and Schmick’s (not to mention the crab tater tots!), buying “Champ” (our Jeep), garage sale Saturday mornings with the wife, seeing the bats at sunset for the first time, the “man room” in the garage that is like the Phonebooth II, a weekend here in Round Rock with cousin Hollie, some dude named Obama, and getting back in the habit of reading about 3-4 books a week.  Visits from old friends Ray and Mark around the holidays, though sadly not at the same time.

Moments to forget: The binge.  The slow, painful death of my laptop and all of its music, just waiting to be salvaged.  Hurricane Ike and the craziness at work that ensued.  Rats – giant maneating effers – at the previous address.  The brush with circus clowns that Coleton and I had in Wimberley onJuly 4.  (I’m surprised we made it out alive and unscarred.)  Palin-mania.  Ugh.

Music and sporting events: Our first Round Rock Express game, as Tommy Hunter put on a show.  The aforementioned BoDeans concert at SXSW.  Getting into the Airborne Toxic Event.

Things to look forward to in ‘09: Lots more music, like the Morrissey show I mention in the last entry and another show I will mention in the next.  Kayaking again, and maybe even buying our own canoe.  Hiking at Inks Lake.  A real vacation for a change.  Continued opportunities at work.  The Boy’s sister (The Girl?) moving here after graduation.  More visits from friends.  Finally finishing the front room so we can entertain at home.  A road trip to Houston to see the opening of Land of the Lost with family.

One word to sum up ‘08? Rationality.  (Ok, I used the dictionary game to choose a word because “Austintatious” seemed kind of cheesy.)

Fancy another?