And Goodwill To Men

It seems to be a weekend ritual of ours… a trip to Goodwill to bargain shop.

Before scoffing, realize a few things: There are some damned good deals to be found at Goodwill. For example, my Timberland boots were less than eight bucks and my Old Navy jeans (in the very difficult to find waist size of 31) were less than five. Also, Goodwill stores here in Austin are big business. Hell, they even have commercials on radio and TV promoting new (i.e. unused) merchandise. Dawn was particularily proud of a satin flower arrangement she found for six dollars because the original price tag was still on it. To my disbelief, it was over 200 bucks.

Seriously.

I know. I’m amazed, too.

Anyway, this past weekend, I just wasn’t into it. I have a hard time spending money on myself unless there is a very pressing need or a vice is involved, and neither of those conditions applied on Sunday so I went in because, well, I basically had no other options. And the Goodwill we were at is a very large one, so I knew that Dawn would be browsing for quite a while.

(At least we got to eat some Chinese food first. Of course, while pulling a mussell from a shell, I had the fleshy food bounce right off of my white shirt and onto the floor, leaving a nice brown stain right around the Rhode Island logo in the center of the tee.)

I wasted some time looking at some cool shirts that would be nice to have if I really had a need for them until boredom set in. And when boredom sets in, that is when the comedy bits emerge. Thankfully, at this Goodwill, the only prop needed for my act was there.

Hanging proudly at the end of a rack, on one of those hangers with little clips, was a pair of white undies. No noticable stains, just your garden variety “tighty whities”. I grabbed them and went to search out Dawn to show her what my treasure hunt turned up.

As I mentioned before, the Goodwill we were in was a rather large structure. I thought I’d find Dawn in a few seconds, but I ended up walking around the store several times before finally meeting up with her…

… all the while proudly holding the underwear on a hanger.

For the first two minutes of my search, I was completely embarrassed. After that, I embraced my stupidity. Hell, I probably gave several customers in the store something to talk about for years, all the while ammusing my simplistic self.

Then, as we were getting rung up at the register, when I handed my debit card over to the cashier, Dawn said “You got Chinese all over you!”

I’m not quite sure how the Asian woman who was ringing up the sale felt about that remark…

Jenny, Don’t Be Hasty

In early October of 2007, about a week before our move to Austin, I was in the local Albertson’s buying something (probably Diet Coke and butter) when I heard a female voice say my name. I turned around and saw that it was Jenny – the best bartender ever. About once every three weeks or so, the old work gang would get off early and spend a couple of hours at Bobby V’s for burgers and beer, and Jenny was our bartender/server/antagonist. She dished out cut-downs as well as she poured tall Miller Lites.

So as I saw her that day, with her newly cut hair and looking almost boyish, I told her about Dawn and I moving to Austin and she told me about her new job: a member of the Fort Worth Fire Department. A staple of Bobby V’s had been removed because of her innate need to serve the public in a different manner. From then on, her hose would be filled with water to save lives as opposed to being filled with beer to try and keep up with Joe.

I knew that would be that last time that I’d see her. Like a fledgling leaving the nest, I did not need her anymore.

Despite what you know, or think you know, about my fondness for beer, I am not a big “bar guy”. In fact, I am happier when having a cold one at home. But the Bobby V’s days were more about comraderie than the suds. Joe, Debra and Brandon with a twist of Jenny. Sure, others joined us at times, but us four coworkers and the bitchy bartender (who, oddly, gave me the confidence to think I actually had a shot with Dawn) were the highlights of many weeks.

So last week I was reading the old hometown newspaper online when I came across this atricle about the Arlington smoking ban and how it has affected business in the city. A few paragraphs stood out.

Pete Moore, who owns Bobby V’s Sports Gallery Cafe on Bowen Road near Interstate 20, said his business is off 15 percent.

Pete, Pete, Pete… It is because I moved. So sorry.

He said people used to come to the bar, eat and drink a few beers while watching a game. Now, the people who still come to the bar area eat and leave with smaller checks.

Pete, Pete, Pete… That is because I quit my job.

“People who used to come in two or three times a week will come in once every two or three months to say ‘hi,’” he said. “I can go to restaurants in Mansfield and see my old customers there.”

Ok, Pete. Now you are exaggerating. Maybe the mullet guy doesn’t frequent your place quite as much, but I don’t think I have ever been there more than one time per week.

And, by the way, don’t discount the fact that Jenny left. Good help is hard to find.

The Belated Wrap-Up

Let’s jump right in to this yearly ritual of mine…

2007 Moments To Remember: The new career decision. The postal gig which led to my personal favorite blog entry. Classes in Houston, as well as the friends I met there. Marrying my soulmate at The Temple (i.e. Rangers Ballpark in Arlington). The marriage being mentioned in Baseball Prospectus. The trip to Broken Bow, Oklahoma – especially the canoe excursion. Free rentals! Another trip to Oklahoma, this time for a family weekend. The fire contest on that trip. The Mark Teixeira trade because it might be to the Rangers what the Hershel Walker trade was to the Cowboys. The unreal generosity of my family. “I need some Malone time.” Getting the kick-ass apartment at the kick-ass rate. Fleetwood Mac on the CD player of a hotel bar (I had forgotten how good that band was). Joe Days. Devin’s wedding. Chad’s wedding. Singing ‘Love Shack’ at both. My wife landing her new job. China Star in Wichita Falls. Free pens. My niece singing. Downtown Austin with Dawn and Kristyn. Eating at a place called ‘Pancake’. My first ever surprise birthday party.

Moments To Forget: My arrival in Houston for class. Dawn’s car accident in West while driving to see me in Gatesville. Two and a half weeks in Wichitard Falls. Spending so much time in hotels that Triumph’s “Suitcase Blues” could have been my theme song. The combo juggling/magician act that somehow allowed us to stay afloat until things started going right. The worst Thanksgiving ever, thanks to being sick. The cell phone outage (which has now been righted). My desktop computer crashing. Miles across Texas in a cargo van. Accidentally washing my last pack of smokes. Greggo’s demise.

Music: Yet another year went by without attending any live shows. However, thanks to KGSR of Austin and an HBO comedy series, there were a lot of good tunes tossed my way. Bands on the mix CD would include Flight of the Conchords, Snow Patrol, Big Head Todd and the Monsters, Paolo Nutini (Scottish? Really?), the new Springsteen album, Feist, lots of Talking Heads, Ryan Adams, Eels, and Willie Nelson’s “You Don’t Think I’m Funny Anymore”. Also, for whip potential, Ray Wylie Hubbard’s “Snake Farm” and Bob Dylan’s “Serve Somebody”.

TV/Movies: Three of the best movies I have seen were from 2007 DVD releases: The Prestige, The Departed, and Stranger Than Fiction. Also, Superbad compares to Napoleon Dynamite in that it gets funnier every time it is watched. I was underwhelmed during my first attempt, but cracked up during my second. TV consisted of The Office (American version), Flight of the Conchords, and the genius of HBO’s Extras. Why only two seasons, Ricky? Why? And thank goodness for tons of Law & Order reruns on cable. I also warmed to House and Thirty Rock. Finally, I am ashamed to admit that I momentarily got sucked into Jon and Kate Plus Eight. But Kate is such an unrelenting bitch that I had to either quit watching or punch a wall.

You Will Be Missed: Johnny Hart, Molly Ivins, Lady Bird, Norman Mailer, Bowie Kuhn, Tom Poston, Charles Nelson Reilly, Anna Nicole, Calvert DeForest, Merv Griffin,Evel Knievel… and especially the great Tom Snyder.

Things To Look Forward To In 2008: The launch of my company. (Dawn will kill me for using “my”, but she has free education for her kids to work for, so she will not be involved as much as we originally intended. There is a backup plan for marketing, however.) Another Missouri trip, this time with the brother-in-law in tow. China Star in Austin. Hiking at Enchanted Rock. REM at South By Southwest. (Keep your fingers crossed. We hope to find out where and when they are playing a very small venue.) Financial stability and then some. Thanksgiving on the lake? Taking The Boy to the guitar show in Dallas.

And, just for fun, this is what I wrote a year ago in my “Things To Look Forward To In 2007″ blurb:

Working and making a name for myself… again. Financial security. Another Missouri trip, but this one with fly fishing. Getting back to playing guitar more. Writing more, but this time for fun. Wedding plans? The odd age of 37, only a few weeks away. But most of all… the unknown. As I wrote the 2005 year-end entry, who could have predicted the luck I would run into during 2006? Who could have known that I would love deeper than I ever imagined? Part of me keeps saying that I do not deserve this. But another part reminds me that I have paid my dues.This will be our year.

Ah, life.

Can’t live without it.

It Was A Wild And Wacky Ride

No year has ever been as up-and-down, comfortable and scary, rosy and gloomy, as 2007 was for me. After getting about ten months of free time in 2006, during which I embarked on the most passionate journey my heart has ever taken, it was time to atone. I robbed Peter in ‘06 and paid Paul out the ass in ‘07.

For example, counting two contract gigs, I actually had five jobs last year… and went to a trade school. And, speaking of that school, I came out of class riding a high that I would have never imagined. The income potential (though it wasn’t really “potential”, it was virtually guaranteed) alone was staggering to my little mind. Plans were laid for a early fall launch of the new business until two things happened: 1) The tools required for this career added up to an ungodly amount of money, and 2) The state legislature had a new law party. After September 1, it looked as though all my training – not to mention my student loan – was for naught.

And that is when I took the second contract job, one that was to last for two months. At first it was for the above-mentioned tools. In September, it became more about survival. But it also led to the best decision of the year.

On one of the many days that the Leemerette was able to ride along with me as I did my job, we found ourselves in Muenster, Texas. As we drove from the local meat market to the locally owned grocery store, we started talking about how great it would be to just pack up and move and start all over somewhere else. Dawn mentioned it on a whim and was surprised to learn that I often felt the same way. Suddenly, the conversation turned quasi-serious. We started talking about where we’d like to make this transformation.

I nixed her first idea (Houston – sorry, family) and she shot down mine (Colorado – too hard with the kids in Texas). But then we started talking about Austin. In fact, we progressed so far as to make plans for her to work for her company in the capital. Then the pendulum swung and lopped off the head of that idea when Dawn got laid off. So much for her working in Austin.

However, a few weeks later, I got a call from the company I was doing the contract gig for. When asked how far I live from McKinney, I said about two hours. Too bad, the boss said, because he had a full-time opening there and had hoped to put me in that position. Then I told him of the waylaid plans for an Austin move and we ended the conversation… until he called the next day offering me the same postion in the city Dawn and I were meant for.

So I had a job waiting for me in Austin, a state-issued cargo van to move shit while not working, and the wife and I had optimism again. On one episode of Seinfeld, Jerry equated himself to the proverbial “Even Steven”. Well, folks, that’s me. Just when one door closes, another opens. I like to think of it as karma points, rewards from treating others right as I have lived my life. To wit, just as things were really looking up, I found out that the state had “grandfathered” me. In other words, as long as all my education certificates were turned in before 2008, I could still get my license to practice the trade that I had studied.

But things were rough after the move for a while. Typical of us, we sold things rather than move them. I wasn’t making a lot of money at my job, but we needed it because it got us the apartment. So, although the bedrooms were furnished, the downstairs living area was bare. And that wreaked havoc on the psyche a little, especially as Dawn was searching for a job.

Tempers got short, and there were a few tense nights here and there, but we fought through it. We had/have each other, and everything else is pretty much ancillary. Plus, true to the “Even Steven” theory, I got a call from a recruiter for a new job offering more money and Dawn nailed her interview for a position that is far better than either of us could have hoped for.

So now the kids get to get a college degree for free, and my niece gets a 25% discount on her tuition (past and present), and another niece may take advantage of the same offer. And the owners of the company I work for think I hung the moon, when in actuality it was just some party favors, and they plan on utilizing me at another of their locations when I am done with my work at the first. All the while, I am still working Monday through Friday – a major plus since I got a letter from the state on Friday that cleared me to take my licensing exam.

Oh – and radio in Austin kicks ass.

Manic-depressive. Even Steven. See-saw. Up-and-down.

Call it what you will, but I choose to call it a new year.

My typical year-end entry will be next. Curve it until then.

The Silver Haired Lady Behind The Counter

He sat behind the keyboard and stared.

This same set of letters, arrayed in no particular order, used to talk to him. They would tell him what to say – pressing certain keys in order to form thoughts that he didn’t even know he had. But now the silence was beyond deafening. It was the end result of a very trying year, he guessed.

In fact, all of the above words were the product of three days of thinking. It was going to be so good, he thought. Ground-breaking. Worth the wait, even. So he started typing…

QWERTY.

Is that a word?

What happened to the words? The thoughts? The masterful bon mots?

They will be back someday, he thought.

After all, a new year had begun.

Thoughtlessly, he fumbled for a cigarette from his breast pocket.