Stability in an Unstable World

If you don’t live next to a vacant house, or at least near one, chances are that you know someone who does.

It took me a while (Ok- about one meager paycheck) to rationalize my job.  Nineteen months and two bump-ups later, I am still there and as committed as ever.  Any sympathy from this left-leaning, environmentalist loving, why-can’t-we-all-get-along dude gets left at the door when I see the condition most of these “homes” are left in.  Sadly, the pictures say it all.

And – seriously – why does the exercise equipment always get left behind?  The paint, I understand.  But isn’t everyone always running from something?  And, if so, wouldn’t it stand to reason that being in good shape is a plus?

Now, with that little preamble out of the way, let’s launch into the recap…

Moments to Remember: The trifecta of mini-vacations (Inks Lake, Mustang Island, Colorado Bend SP).  An award at work.  Family time at cousin Brandon’s in Houston.  Solving the problems of the world with Clif in the garage.  Seeing the dog – Bodie – in the water for the first time and realizing that he was a natural.  Adopting Guster (AKA Gus, Augustus, or Senor) to give Bodie someone to torment.  Being Lebowski on Halloween – and the much needed haircut that ensued about a month later.  Dawn’s new position at work.  Bargain shopping on Craig’s List and at garage sales (the hutch, the artwork, the mini-fridge).  Getting stuck in the ice while driving to Fort Worth on Christmas Eve.

Moments to Forget: Getting stuck in the aforementioned ice.  February 15 and 16.  Remember that I mentioned Mustang Island?  Well, I forgot to mention just how invasive sand can be.  (Insert ubiquitous “How do you make a hormone?” joke here.)

(Sidebar: Wow.  That has to be the shortest list of forgettable moments since I started doing this little interweb thing.)

Music: Not one single live show, even though I won tickets to Morrissey thanks to KGSR.  We also had a chance to see the great Robyn Hitchcock (featuring Peter Buck of R.E.M.), but it sure sucks being old and lazy.  Instead, I’ll pass on a few of my favorite songs of the year with links:  Bob Schneider’s 40 Dogs, Charlie Robison’s Yellow Blues (it was the best I could find online) because the first time I heard it I thought that Dramarama was making a comeback, Charlie Mars Listen to the Darkside, pretty much anything by M Ward (especially when it includes Zooey Deschanel),   Andrew Bird’s Fitz and the Dizzyspells (bonus points for featuring whistling and a confusing title), Paolo Nutini’s Candy, Pearl Jam’s continued dominance/maturity on Just Breathe, and Say Please by the Monsters of Folk (because how can you go wrong with M Ward and Conor Oberst?).

You Will Be Missed: Farrah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, Edward Kennedy, Les Paul, John Hughes, Walter Cronkite, Karl Malden (anyone who plays a character named “Skag” deserves mention), MJ (though I doubt we will ever stop hearing about it), Ed McMahon, David Carradine, Dom DeLuise, Jack Kemp, Bea Arthur, John Updike, and co-worker John Cornejo.

Especially Missed: This is a new category created specifically for the great Paul Harvey.  May he now turn the page to the rest of the story…

Things to look forward to in 2010: New opportunities/challenges at work.  The Girl moving in.  Financial cushion?  Rich Harden in the Ranger rotation.  But really – how could anything top 2009?  Dawn and I moved to Austin in October of 2007 to start over.  I had just finished a contract job for the State and she had just been laid off.  Then 2008 was a year of flux, getting our proverbial feet wet in an unknown environment.  Now here we are, celebrating our third New Year in our new hometown, and it’s like…  It’s like we have always carpooled together because we work in the same building, like we have always had a Parks Pass because of the proximity of picturesque state parks, like we always had great FM radio, like we still can’t find a kick-ass Chinese buffet.

But I’ll give up the Asian cuisine – no problem.

Because we are home.

Happy New Year.  Be safe.

Not As Asian As It Sounds

Home?

I wish I could say that I know the dude and/or dudette that owns the bar in the image to the left, but I can’t. It turns out that my last name, rare at best in the US, is quite common on the British Isles. (The photo? It is of a building with a sign proclaiming itself as “Leeming Bar”. Look closely at the sign.)

My dad’s side of the family? Obviously British. My mom’s? Irish to the bone, complete with the “Erin Go Braugh” bumper sticker on her dad’s truck. And me? Incan, as anyone can plainly see. I will be extinct before you know it, but not before I hide the gold. If you think the Columbia drug trade is killing people, try the smallpox they inflicted on my (imagined) ancestors.

Anyway…

I took some vacation time today. Left work at noon for my court appearance. The time on my arraignment summons was 1pm and I was not very hopeful about getting out of there before 4pm. To my great surprise, I was home before 2:30. Just enough time for the wife to do some browsing on Craig’s List (and for me to listen to “Why Today Doesn’t Suck” on The Ticket).

And that is how I found myself driving to southwest Austin early in the evening to buy a home bar for $75. It matches the furniture – and would probably cost close to a grand if bought brand new – and is fully stocked thanks to our trip to Spec’s a week or so ago. So we are all set up to entertain visitors.

That is, if we ever get around to it.

After all, us Irish/British/Incan/Asian-name-sounding tend to go into hiding. Especially since I am full of shit about the Incan part.

Green

Butterflies float around the bottle
The monarchs are in season
Tilt the wings, up to full throttle
With no question for the reason

Splendid spots and polka-dots
An all too fatal clue
Filling us with forget-me-nots
‘Til the dominant shade is blue

A simple A-B rhyme scheme
And a cabinet that beckons
Broken fragments of a dream
A world that no one mentions

—

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

Why Can’t We Be Friends?

Here are two names you probably would never recognize, but I can almost guarantee you that you’d know their faces: T.J. Jagodowski and Peter Grosz.  They are the “Sonic guys”.  You know, the two dudes who sit in the car in the Sonic commercials while eating their meals, debating all of life’s little idiocracies.  And while I find these ads highly entertaining, a couple of things about them have always bugged me.

First, how are these guys even friends?  They act like they can’t stand each other.  Peter is the guy who is always behind the wheel, while T.J. is the talkative passenger, needling to the point of obsessiveness.  Kick his annoying ass out of the van, already.  Which leads me to my second point.

Why don’t they take their food home?  A lot of the annoyances could easily be avoided if they only did what most people do:  order, pay, receive, and drive home to eat.

And finally, since they do choose to eat in the vehicle, would it be too much to ask for them to lose the seatbelts while eating?

And now for some Sonic quick-hit links, because I know that I have some readers across the pond that have not seen the frustrating genius behind this marketing campaign…

• Don’t joke about ninjas while at Sonic.  Or ever, for that matter.
• Perfect example of the annoying ingrate here.
• This “food math” spot might be my favorite.
• And here is a compilation of several ads, featuring all the players.  Some bad quality recordings are in there, but it’s still good.
• Finally, some worldwide recognition.  Evidently, the makers behind the absolutely great movie “Stranger Than Fiction” were Sonic commercial fans because both dudes landed in the movie.  You can actually see them for a second in this trailer, bluetooths (blueteeth?) and all.
• Little known fact:  Peter Grosz is actually a writer on the “Colbert Report”.

Now, if we hadn’t just pigged out on Chili’s here at the house, I would say some chili cheese tots sound mighty fine about now…

From Blogger Pictures

For Shits and Giggles

For The Music Lovers

Numbers 11 through 25 are now online:

http://leemermusic.wordpress.com/

Carry out the plan of the day.

Facebook Made Me Do It

Truthfully, it was a friend of mine on Facebook.  We’ll just call him Wink Martindale.

Wink and I worked together as teenagers and recently got back in touch via the miracle of this whole internet fad.  And it turns out that I had a rather large impact on the musical aspect of his life.  Two of his top 10 rock albums of all time were attributed to me (i.e. I played them for him first).  And part of the deal is that I am now supposed to compose my own list.

Wink was challenged with 25 albums, but said it was supposed to be 15, and then he narrowed it down to 10.  Me?  I’m going with 25, in two separate entries.  And I am also copping out by including some “best of” discs.  This entry is very link intensive.  I strongly encourage you to free your mind and follow them.

10.  The Smiths “Louder Than Bombs”.  It pains me to choose a Smiths album that does not include “How Soon Is Now?”, but I had to.  The playlist dictates it.  “Shoplifters of the World”, “Panic”, “Asleep”, “Ask”, “Golden Lights”, “Hand in Glove”, “Sheila Take a Bow”…  wow.  Twenty-four songs on this disc.  The quantity plus quality make it irresistible.

9.  The Cure “Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me”.  “Why Can’t I Be You?” Good question, but a great song, especially the acoustic version (which I could not find a link to).  “Catch” is as poignant of a song as one could hope to write, and “Just Like Heaven” was an instant classic.  “Hot Hot Hot!!!” was not so bad, either.  I really wanted to cower and choose “Staring At the Sea:  the Singles” or even “Galore” as my Cure choice, but I am really trying to avoid greatest hit compilations.  (Except for #2, with good reason.)

8.  Echo & the Bunnymen “Songs to Learn and Sing”.  Tunes from this one were often found on the soundtracks of those classic 80’s movies, notably “Pretty In Pink” and “The Lost Boys” (doing a Doors cover), as well as an episode of “Miami Vice”.  But don’t let any of that scare you.  “Rescue” is as cool of a song as you will ever hear while  “The Killing Moon” and “Bring On the Dancing Horses” are equally enthralling.  This CD changed my music taste forever.  Ian McCullough is still my favorite singer of all time.

7.  Buffalo Tom “Big Red Letter Day”.  This one is a dark horse, as many of you probably have no idea who this band is.  Sad, really, as they are as polished and professional as any other band out there.  Plus, they have talent.  I wore out this CD, too.  Particularly, “Sodajerk” and “Anything That Way”.  “I’m Allowed”, “Would Not Be Denied”, and “My Responsibility” also got heavy hits from me.  Damn them for not having a better web presence!

6.  Pearl Jam “Vs”.  They shed their one-hit, Seattle flash-in-the-pan, grunge is the only way to go persona with this release.  While “10″ was deeper than many give it credit for, they were still shackled by Nirvana’s success.  Not after this one.  Right from the word “Go”, they changed the grunge image.  They were better, craftier musicians than the boys in Nirvana, though they probably owe their discovery to that trio.  Highlights for me are the beautiful “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town”, “Rats”, and – of course – “Daughter”.  But “Rearviewmirror” will always be my favorite song of theirs.

5.  Radiohead “The Bends”.  Start with “High and Dry” and all of its luster.  Add a dash of “Fake Plastic Trees” and its commentary on boob jobs, among other things.  (Oddly, I can sing that song.  I have a tape around here that proves it.)  And don’t we all have a yen for a “Nice Dream”?  Finish off this masterpiece with one of their greatest songs:  “Street Spirit (Fade Out)”.  Still, in my opinion, the best song they have ever recorded.

4.  R.E.M. “Life’s Rich Pageant”.  Every time I feel myself fluctuating about what my favorite R.E.M. disc is, I always find myself gravitating back to this one.  It has everything:  jangly guitar jamming on “I Believe” and “Just a Touch”, enviro-friendly ranting on “Fall On Me” and “Cuyahoga”, a lesson of our country’s brutal history in “Swan Swan H”, and one of my all-time favorite R.E.M. songs “Begin the Begin” (a tongue-in-cheek reference to Cole Porter’s “Begin the Beguine”.)

3.  The Weakerthans “Left & Leaving”.  This one would make it on the title track alone, one of the most poetic songs I have ever heard – a true eulogy for saying goodbye.  “Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me.  This blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest.  The best parts of lonely.”  The addition of “My Favorite Chords” only makes this CD more memorable.

2.  Teenage Fanclub “Four Thousand Seven Hundred and Sixty-Six Seconds”.  I first heard them in their early, grungy stage.  Songs like “Star Sign” and “The Concept” were cool.  Melodic, distortion guitar, a few riffs here and there.  But this CD showed their progression from emotional jamming to some of the most beautiful rock songs you will ever hear.  “Mellow Doubt” and “Planets” in particular.

1.  U2 “The Joshua Tree”.  This one ekes by The Unforgettable Fire for me, probably to the chagrin of die-hard U2 fans.  I know that the 3 major hits from this album got played to death on radio (even though “Where the Streets Have No Name” still gives me goosebumps), but it is the ancillary songs on this release that really make it for me.  Start with “Bullet the Blue Sky”, written while Bono was in Central America, and go through some absolute brilliance with “One Tree Hill”, “Red Hill Mining Town”, “Trip Through Your Wires”, and the haunting “Exit”.  Every song on this disc will stand the test of time.  (Red Hill is still one of my Top 5 U2 songs and the video linked to “Exit” was done by a film student while in college.  Not the official video, but it should be.  It is stunning.)  Crap!  I completely forgot the greatness of “Running To Stand Still”.  Like the over-played “With Or Without You”, this one is also about the dangers of drug addiction.  Think about the titles of both songs…  Oh, and “In God’s Country”.  Jeez.  We’ll never see another album like this one.  Mark my words.

Now I ask a few things.  First, critique my choices.  Especially if you took the time to sample some of the links.  Second, post your list in your blog and then include the link in the comments.  Or, if you do not have a blog, feel free to use the comments to publish your list.  Consider me curious.

Ramping Up For A Music Entry

For reasons you will soon learn, I am working on my personal Top 25 CDs of all time.  I am limiting myself to my formative music years (age 16 +) so you will not see discs like Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” or Led Zeppelin’s “II” (yes, that was “II”, not “IV”).

However, as I am wont to do, I started getting rather wordy.  I may end up breaking it up into two entries – the first being 10 to 1 and the second 25 to 11.  I might even add an honorable mention entry, too. Who knows?

The reason for this precursor is to get you ready to click some links.  Each disc I list will have at least one – and probably two or more – link(s) to videos of select songs from the album to accentuate my reasoning.  So if you are really interested, it could be a rather lengthy timewaste for you.

And on this blog, we are all about the timewaste.

The first entry will be posted this afternoon, so stand apprised.

Also, in the vein of full disclosure, I have started another blog that will mirror my music entries on this site.  So point your RSS feed readers to the following address to keep up with future music entries: http://leemermusic.wordpress.com/

Not everything I post on that site will make it on here, so you have been warned.

Curve it around… like a record.

Depressing. That’s What It Is.

I remember the first blog I ever wrote for this here interweb thing.  Inspired by a segment on The Ticket, I wrote about the 10 things I can do better than the majority of the population.  I never really thought anyone would read it, much less find it interesting.  It was just an outlet, you know?

Back then, people – at least those that “matter” -  didn’t really have blogs.  But now they are everywhere.  Controlled by publicists, devoid of true meaning and feeling, sanitized lest that someone get offended.

Shit.

Some of my favorite reads seem to be gone for good.  And, not to call anyone out on the carpet or anything, but I will name some names.

Screw it.  I’ll name just one.

Me.

The economy is bad enough that people are afraid to voice opinions, be humorous, or otherwise rock the boat.  I used to have no qualms talking about work on here as long as I didn’t mention the company I worked for.  However, I was always trusting that those commenting (probably the most important variable of blogging) would feel the same restraint.  I am leery now, though, because the risk is far greater than the reward.

Shit.

And now I have this great story to tell about being arrested for something ridiculous, but I am not sure if I have the sack to lay it all on the line.

And I don’t want to confine myself to an anonymous blog because feedback from friends is 99% of the reason I still post entries.  Who cares what Fernando from Akron thinks about my music entries?  (No offense, Fernando.  You do look marvelous.)  But, sadly, that is how things are today.

When you have a last name like I do, it is not too difficult to find me online.  I used to get mega-hits on the old Upsaid blog (when my writing was edgy, funny, and topical), but now I am afraid to post anything that may come back to haunt me.

My friend Devin (link omitted, just in case he is as scared as I am) once mentioned to me that he was behind on reading my stuff.  His explanation was that (paraphrasing) once something is online, it is there forever.

To wit, I would probably never post anything like this again (my famous non-Christmas party), or this (too volatile for the religious), or even this (too many nipple references).

But I still have a lot to say.

I guess it is time to start the book.  Fiction, of course.  Who would believe it, otherwise?  Lots of great ideas there…

THIS Did Not Make My “Things To Look Forward To In 2009″ List

Ladies and gentlemen, straight from the Home Office in Leming, Texas (yes, it exists, even if it is short one letter) is tonight’s Top 10 List.  The category?  The Top 10 Things To Do To Prepare For A Night In Jail…

10)  Wear socks, because concrete is very cold on bare feet.  (I was covered there, thankfully.)

9)  Have phone numbers memorized, like back in the good old days.  Your cell phone’s contact list will not be handy.

8)  Wear a hoodie.  Not only is it kept cold in there, but – hey – extra padding for lack of a pillow!  (I get half-points here.  I was wearing a sweater.)

7)  If your vehicle is not going to be impounded, put the cigs in your pocket so that they will be there when you get out.

6)  Gorge yourself ahead of time.  Never before had I seen something that truly qualifies as “mystery meat straight from a human organ”.

5)  Pick the county carefully.  This one is truly awful.

4)  Go ahead and get a DUI.  Hell, make it multiples!  Those people get out much quicker than first time offenders like me (with a charge of “unregistered animal” when our Lhasa/Shitzu mix got out of the backyard).

3)  There is never a number 3.

2)  Have a kick-ass boss who recently had a brother undergo the same silly treatment.  Scoreboard!

1)  Have effin’ cash, because they don’t take debit.